


Shatter Me

by SheWhoWrites178



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is Dead, Angst, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Magnus is not dealing, happy-ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoWrites178/pseuds/SheWhoWrites178
Summary: Alexander Lightwood is dead. And Magnus Bane cannot cope with that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gods, I’m so sorry. This is by far the saddest fic I have ever written. I was watching Malec fanvids on YouTube and I just…this is what came out of it. Magnus needs a hug, guys. Also, please note that I said Happy-ISH ending, not HAPPY ending. I'm not going to re-tag this because it's tagged correctly.  
> Colly

Alexander Lightwood’s body is stiff and cold, unyielding in a way you have never seen it. His blue eyes are open, staring sightlessly at the ceiling and you cannot close them. Closing those eyes means accepting that this is real and you cannot accept it. Not now. He was supposed to fifty years left at least – even that wouldn’t have been enough – but he is stone-cold and silent on a stiff hospital bed and you feel like screaming. You haven’t lost control of your emotions like this in centuries, haven’t let yourself feel pain this intense in so long that you had forgotten what it felt like.

It hurts. This is the worst pain you have ever felt. It bypasses the pain you felt as a child when your mother killed herself, bypasses the pain of Camille leaving. Your entire world is shattering and you can’t even hide from it. Not this time. There is no hiding from the pain of watching Alexander Lightwood die. It feels as though your heart is being ripped out of your chest and dipped in acid. Burning and ripping pain is all you can feel and you can no longer hold in the sound of your own sobs. The sound is the only thing you can hear in the silence, above Jace Wayland’s screaming and Isabelle Lightwood’s sobs. 

But Jace is holding Clary, his face buried in her red hair and he will be okay. Isabelle is turned into Simon Lewis’ embrace, her back heaving and she too will be okay. But there is no one to comfort you, no one to hold you in a tight embrace and whisper against your ear. You are alone and you’ll be alone for an eternity. Your screams are bursting from your chest, clawing their way out of your throat and you can’t stop. You can’t stop and you can’t even breathe because Alec is gone. He’s gone and nothing can bring him back. 

You were supposed to be married. Just two months and you were supposed to marry him. But now you will bury him instead and something inside of you shatters at the prospect of spending your wedding day curled on a cold, unforgiving grave. It hurts. It hurts so bad that you want nothing more than for this pain to finally kill you because you don’t know how to feel this. You have always been able to ignore pain, to shut it out, but this is so much worse and you will not survive this. 

Your magic is thrumming in your veins and it feels like it’s trying to escape and you don’t even try to stop it. When it comes flowing out of you, you don’t even try to save yourself. Your own magic is going to kill you, to stop the pain that is making your entire being quake. It presses in on you like a pillow over your face and all you can think is that this is okay. You can’t hurt this much and you’ll never stop. An eternity with Alec by your side is unthinkable and you close your eyes as death presses its lips against yours. 

In death, Alexander Gideon Lightwood is just as beautiful. His gaze is just as sharp, as knowing as you’ve always known it to be. And following him into the next adventure is as easy as breathing.


End file.
